Sunday, April 22, 2012

Where did i go wrong - RANT

Where did I go wrong?

Warning this may sound one sided, bitchy, or what have you but hey it’s my blog. My question is simply this. Where did I go wrong? Where did any of us go wrong? My family is your typical both parents, 2 kids and 2 dogs. We live in our own home, don’t have credit card debt up to our ears or other common but stressful situations. It’s a classic story. Boyfriend works 40+ hours a week and im a wahm. On top of running my own business, being a blogger, makeup artist and photographer im a mom. And that alone is a full time job. Although my other 4 “jobs” may not be your steady 40+ hour a week check they do pay some bills, let me be able to have lunch with friends and do a little shopping and as you all know those are key essentials when you’re a mom and get very little “adult” interaction. It keeps us sane.

So here begins my rant, My question of the day, My reality kicking in. During a typical day we do what we can to clean, do the errands, get the kids where they need to be on time, have dinner ready and on the table by 6, get homework done, showers, snack and bed. Well in my typical day I also have to take the hubby to work, pick him up, and try to fit in some work for one of my 4 jobs. So what made me ask for help with the dishes? What was I thinking? Did I really think it would be that easy, that he would stop playing on his phone to help me? I guess we will call it a moment of weakness or insanity but I now know where my place is, what my reality is. Sometimes we have these moments of truth and over a day or two they pass but for some reason this time it sticks. This time is the time that opened my eyes to how much things haven’t changed. It may be 2012 but nothing has changed. Woman are still expected to handle all this and now on top of it we also have to bring home a paycheck. So how is it fair? How has it changed?

I won’t ramble on and on but I needed to get this out there, and if you bothered reading the entire post I appreciate it. At least someone is hearing me at least someone can sense how I feel. Maybe you can relate? Maybe you can’t because you’re still in a delusional state of mind? Or maybe you haven’t been pissed off enough yet that you are debating back and forth between stabbing your hubby in the eye or taking a hammer to his phone. Either way I thank you.